Dum Dee Dum... I am not a super hero neither am i spiderman. I am going to save the world... like as if you would believe.
I am a maniac. I came from an outer space which is filled with water. I learn swimming at the age of zero.I wail like a cry baby. I crawl like spiderman,
i fly like superman, i drive like batman. I live in wonderland. Rugrats is my friend, so is peter pan.
Jiaying
17 going on 18
loves nothing more than chocolates and S.H.I.T(which should come first?chocolates or S.H.I.T?okay S.H.I.T comes first cause chocolates would not get angry^^)
ever since the camp, i've done a hell lot of thinking.and i came to realise something.i've failed terribly as an NCO.no offence to the other 4 sec one squad taking NCOs but i really think that the 5 of us have really failed in being leaders to our squad.
ever since the start,i set a goal that i had wanted the squad to achieve.i wanted to prove the talk about every alternate squads being elites.i wanted to bring the sec ones out of the label that they would not be able to achieve.
because of that,i stood my stand.i would be the bad guy.the one who would be (in their words) cruel to them.i did not like being the bad guy,seriously.it was not my character at all.i'd rather be the one who could play with them.but at the thought of what would be ahead of them,when other batches took over and when they themselves took over,i did not want to see them suffering.i wanted them to prove to others that they were not attitude,that they had what it takes to make them elites.i knew that it would lead to the cadets disliking me for what i did,but i stood ground.
but the 5 of us NCOs could not coordinate ourselves.we had different goals for them.we did not worry over the same things.some preferred to be concerned about the present,while some wanted to care about the future.we lacked the communication.we forgot about our bearing.we overlooked the fact that they still had a long way ahead of them.in short,we failed.
the sec ones right now leave me having no choice at all.i have no idea how to steer those who went off course back on track.i am clueless on how am i supposed to bring those who lack the heart to come in.i don't know how am i to show them where they have gone wrong.should i just listen to what the others say and just leave them what they are,and let the next batch come to do the rest?
i guess it all doesnt matter anymore does it?the journey is approaching an end.but it seems all too difficult to put it all down.i cant bear to.
is it the endless repetition of disappointment that the sec ones give or the inability for us NCOs to see eye to eye that leaves me so exasperated and breathless?
someone once told me that the reason why some of the sec ones would disregard their NCOs boils down to the first impression that we left in them.were we really far too lenient towards them?
rahh.all these questions bug me.and the search for the answers might never be achieved.
